Writing
Writing
Some rough-draft writings, findings from my brain, reflections on life, whatever I wrote, thank you for listening
A pretty green frog sits in the bathtub.
He is flawed and impulsive and self-destructive.
We have each other if we choose.
We will crumble and decay without socialization.
‘I commit to playing with you.’
I have a tendency to say no
But i Tap into quietness
I know more. At this point.
There is a slug infestation, they have killed the local slugs, and when the chickens eat too many of these new slugs their eggs taste funny.
Ive been trying to read slower
I can be tired anywhere,
I can love anywhere.
But It's easier without a last name,
With space between the foot and the floor, with your friends on the floor playing with your head, with only understanding ¾ of the words spoken.
The frog is exactly where I left him 3 days ago.
The Consistency of morning.
Not of life, but of something else,
A shape that bends us.
My Synovial fluid floats in water
which is hard to reckon with.
Fear untaught me and Repression keeps me from honoring my capacities and
I don't think I could do a lot of things I used to do. I don't desire much of the same.
This is Love on a scale I can survive.
You can’t but you can go backwards or sideways . men love war, i love looking at atrocities, i like remembering its not my problem, much like halloween threatens them, they are humans they must be scared to confront themselves, blinding extremes, resonance, karen finley, dont accept consequences, not funny, someone invented it, the rest of us are confused and trying to seize it, dollhouse of selfishness, whiteness, economic status, predetermined personhood, some amount of luck, geography. Avoid responsibility, give the audience my problems. Where did i go wrong, we are all victims. I forgot i had a body, im doing everything wrong (right). I gotta be a better host to myself, more abstract. I dont even think it matters you made all of it up and i dont care about things beyond truth, a pit, a knot, spinning panic, avoidance and regret. Im perverted, i like watching - so what. Embarrassing to not be pretentious about your work. Voting in a “democracy” over processed/engineered food and health crisis, americans, alarms, silence. A line of fruit, a knife, my dentures, toilet, orgasm.
You walk like a coward, talk like a
Art has value said nobody ever. If youre not gonna give me a bogus amount, you better give me nothing at all. Ive been eating gluten free and vegan for a week and i didn’t even notice. Interpret that how you will, im trying to be what you want. Look do you see how pretty i am love me love me love me
I cant keep this up, so dramatic for no reason, making poetry out of lemons, a very sour feeling in the room
I have to be stupider (fake laughter)
Im trying so hard not to make sense im trying so hard to make you think im really really trying to just GIVE UP.
Quiet quiet quiet
Body; loud voice
Melancholic fulfillment
My nostalgic heart aches
For the future
Inside me is a much
Ive never been before
So soft, for days now
I can hardly stand
But natures resonance and your
Gentle nature
Keep me floating through
Naked in the canal
With sheep and birds as
Sonic company
I see my future
As a soft blur
Outlined
With this place and this heart
And im more than okay with that
To let go of this and
Remain solely in memory
My heart goes soft
And i weep
But at least i can
Feel it
Teeth rattling
Blood vibrating
Hair blowing
Bones awakening
Muscles expanding
Vessels exploding
Eyelids falling
Fingernails growing
Ears itching
Brain fluttering
Ass-shaking
Content warning
Skin melting
Having a c-section
Numb but the most
Intense thing ever
Awake but unaware
In another place but
The most human you’ll
Ever be
Your wife is afraid
But you are so calm
Curtain divides
Human flesh from
Pleasure
Brief moments of release,
Relief
Soul throbbing
Brain waving
Hope waning
Thoughts absorbing
Nose trembling
If i close my mouth
My teeth will break
Each other
Isolating, world-spinning
Body freezing, sweating
Totally trapped
Unequivically charmed
Tell me how to live
Guide my blood
My heart won’t beat
Without this
You have lived within me
And I didn’t know
Downward pressure, unable
To move, to write
Im being buried alive
Zap, you shut the lid
No more beats
Descension as my ascension
Are you preparing for my arrival
You become numb to it after a while
You only notice the intensity once its over
Like seasonal depression and school
And life
I dont want to get numb to it
I want to be constantly jarred
A forever state of whiplash
Keep me interested and vibrating
Keep me exploding and keep putting me
Back together
Keep me itching and fluttering and falling
Keep warning me, not saving me
Keep the sweet moments of relief
But mostly keep me trembling and cold sweating
Keep stretching me till i get woozy and
Then bury me till i descend up to the sky
Give me the worst headache of my life
And remember how i cope
Agitate me and make me go insane
Capitalism and schizophrenia took my body
It makes the sweet sweeter and the bitter less
Its how i cope, if you make it worse it can
Only feel better, only feel trapped, only feeling
Cool down the vibrations, increase sweating as
I come to, youre allowing me this nightmare
And telling me its the sweetest dream
Let me rest, let me go
But please keep me tethered to this
Feeling as i figure out how to live
With my ears vibrating